i know i said this blog was for the ups and downs of my artistic pursuits, but sometimes life gets in the way. with my trip to portland this weekend, i had set the goal of have 200 hats done!!
and then this happened.
friday night my fiance, who is a stock car driver on the weekends had a race, so i went. and he was being a guy, pissing me off, so he and i get into it at the track. not that big of a deal, right. not untill his 14 year old son, that's right, i'm a step mom to a teenager, gets in my face and runs off. we figured he'd return after the races were over, no. so we had everyone looking for this kid, town police, county sheriffs, other parents and friends. finally he is found, and doesn't want to come home, because of me, i'm the evil step mom. that is really hard to hear, especially when you've opened your home, and cooked and cleaned for him. so it's me, the problem!! finally we get home, try to work it out but to no avail. have you ever tried to make a teenage boy talk, i'd think it be easier to pull out my own teeth.
ok so the weekend passes, i'm trying to make up for lost time, then this morning i'm up and working, feeling good and productive. then i see a county sheriff wrapping the yellow crime scene tape around my neighbors house, suicide!!! this guy has three young children and a wife and he kills himself, they think last night. i'm watching from my window, the wife pulls up, screaming and crying, i don't know where the kids where, but how terrible. in their house too. it actually makes me mad, how could he leave his kids like that!! then i feel sooo sad for the wife!!! just offal. some other neighbors were coming home and there we were all standing in the street, watching as they took his body out. and they're all talking like they knew it was coming, did anybody do anything?
this morning had really shaken me and changed my perspective on suicide. i can hardly get any work done, because i feel so distracted. i don't have much else to say, just needed to get it out of my mind